Back to work (and you didn't know I was gone)

I was out of work the last three days. I strained a muscle in my side and feared I was getting a hernia in my lower pelvis. Both are okay.

Anyway, today I was confronted by something that I think has been the source of a lot of frustration in my walk with the Lord. Being away from work for three days has been enough time for me to forget how hectic it gets around here. I was getting more and more frustrated with all there is to do.

Finally, I realized how much I hated being here and how unhappy I was that God had led me here. I was angry that God would lead me to work in a place I didn't like, doing work I didn't enjoy that was keeping me from things I wanted to do.

All at once, it hit me: I had been ungrateful to God for my job and I had allowed that sin to grow unchecked. Admittedly, when I first realized this, I didn't want to be grateful. I felt justified in feeling bad, at first. Quickly, I began to realize that was the wrong attitude, and I had to confess and turn from that sin.

…

A short while after that, I got pulled into a meeting with our manager, Mike, who's finally returned from leave. There's been some concern because I've been absent a lot lately. I admitted two of my recent absences were not medical-related, and therefore I did not have a note for them. Mike asked me if I was having a problem, as the company was otherwise happy with my work.

Today marks the first time I've told a manager that I was looking to get out of the company. I told Mike that I had realized that I was not interested in promoting within the company, and that if I didn't want to move up, then I needed to move on. He said he appreciated my candor, and that he was trying to make improvements in our department. Mike also said he wanted to make my remaining time contain as little stress as possible. I said I didn't care too much about that, frankly because I don't know that he can do anything about it, even if he wants to. I just want out, and soon.

Having said all that, I do feel unburdened, if both physically and emotionally drained. I'm really feeling the tug to move on. I ask that you please pray for two things; one, that I would be able to find another job soon, and two, that I wouldn't get fired first. That might actually happen, and if that possibility occurs, I would quit first.