Back at it (in more ways than one)

Lots of things going on, so let's get right into it.

After being sick the week before last, I went back to work last Monday. The very next day, I lost my iPod Touch at work. I was hoping to get it back, but with some of the things with which I've been struggling lately, I find myself thinking that my losing it was a good thing. When I wasn't at work or church, my earplugs were in pretty much from when I got up until I went to bed. It became a means to tune out the world, but it wasn't leading to cultivate a better relationship with God.  It could even be argued that it was causing just the opposite.

Also, it was contributing to some temptations that are best served not having the opportunity to be so easily satisfied. Honestly, it seems like I'm better off, if a little inconvenienced, by not having one.

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Today, I heard two very good messages at church this morning. During the first service this morning, we heard a message from Psalm 37, namely the necessity and value of having an intimate relationship with God.

I haven't talked about it much, but for a long while recently, I've been struggling with my walk with God. Lately, it seems like my thoughts have been bitter and angry, and I felt so much frustration with myself and with God about why I was so miserable. I was struggling to trust God when I found myself wondering if I even had any genuine faith in Him. I found myself wondering why I once had such love and zeal for God and then was struggling with such bitterness and frustration.

However, the lesson made me realize what had been happening. Somewhere along the way, I had stopped cultivating so close a relationship with God as I had before. I went off on my own way, trying to please God on my own, but not being motivated by a love for God but a love for self. I have followed my own desires yet was still yearning for God, and just feeling so lost.

Having an intimate relationship with God allows the believer to trust God to be a source of strength and safety, and that intimate closeness we can have with Him allows us to have confidence in Him and the forgiveness He gives to all who believe. Conversely, not cultivating a close relationship with God only breeds loneliness and frustration. Boy, did that ring familiar.

When the message was over, I just had to stop and beg forgiveness from God, confessing that I had pursued selfish desires over seeking a close relationship with Him.

The second message was in the main service, where we heard a very good message from Philippians 3. In the passage, the apostle Paul tells us that he has forsaken every sort of earthly merit, for the righteousness of Christ, which is granted by grace through faith. The righteousness of God unites us to Him in death to sin and life to God. Faith is the means by which we can (by God's power and will) confidently reach out to Him and trust in His power and grace to forgive sins.

Not only this, but we are also united to Him in His sufferings. Those who have the righteousness of God will inevitably suffer for it at the hands of the unrighteous. Jesus suffered, and those of us who believe will suffer as well.

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I had something else I wanted to write about, but it's somehow managed to completely slip my mind. Maybe next time, if I can remember it.