The past few weeks, I've really been struggling spiritually. My thoughts have been bitter and angry, with so much hostility toward God and others. I've felt like I've been spinning my wheels, not sure what I was doing or where I was going in my life. I felt like so much old sin was raising out of me, as I was a very angry and bitter person before I got saved. I wanted to do right, but I truly believe I was being goaded by Satan to be hateful and angry at God for my own failures as a believer.
This morning in Doulos, we heard a message from Colossians chapter 2:11-16 (NIV):
11 In him you were also circumcised with a circumcision not performed by human hands. Your whole self ruled by the flesh[b] was put off when you were circumcised by[c] Christ, 12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.
13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you[d] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. 15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.[e]
The point Paul was making to the Colossian church was that the externals of religion do not matter to God, as God Himself cares about the internal transformation He Himself performs in the life of a believer at the point of salvation. When we are saved, God puts away the old sin nature from the redeemed person and brings about the new creation in that person (2 Corinthians 5:17).
The message was both convicting and encouraging. I was convicted by the fact that, as of late, I've been trying to do good on my own. When we actually do that which pleases God, it is actually God's power at work in us. Any work we try to do on our own is useless and ultimately futile (Psalm 94:11).
The encouragement for me came with the reminder that any thing that had to be done to have the blessings of love and forgiveness had already been accomplished by the Lord Himself. I realized that when I was saved, I had nothing that I could ever possibly offer to God to warrant His forgiveness, but that I had never considered that He already knew all that, and elected to save me. it was both very humbling and encouraging, and it made my heart glad. I came home, prayed for forgiveness for not trusting God as I should, and now I feel unburdened.
I'm glad. i have joy, real joy that I haven't felt in a long time. If I had to leave you readers with everything, it's that if you're struggling with having joy in your walk, ask God to show what's keeping you from having joy, whatever it may be, confess and turn from it, and thank God for His forgiveness.
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